Internet dating is convenient. You have the luxury of logging onto to your favorite internet dating site whenever you have time. You can weed through hundreds of potential matches in minutes. Dating sites built in organization allows you to keep up with people through various means of communication. It’s no wonder that internet dating is no longer a fad but a legitimate means of find a date!
Spare time is something that most of us have in limited quantity. A common reason for lack of spare time is the presence of children; biology’s little time consumers. Before you misunderstand, let me add that I do NOT have children. Therefore I don’t pretend to have the know-how to write advice of any kind about the perils of single parenting and dating.
Though I do NOT have kids of my own, I do have single parent friends. I’ have also been known to dip my toes in the single daddy pool once or twice. From that, I have acquired a little experience about the ins and outs of dating someone who has children which I share with you now.
Like children
Seriously. If you don’t like kids, don’t want kids, have no real desire to be around kids, I would think twice before agreeing to go out with someone already packing reproductive baggage. Guess what? They aren’t going anywhere. Yes, there’s always the possibility of you coming around and becoming endeared to these specific children and there’s nothing wrong with testing those waters. Just beware: if you don’t like kids, don’t get attached to your new sweetie too quickly.
Prepare to come in second, always
It’s a fact of life that many parents thought they had met the love of their life until the baby came along. Then their hearts melted, again. That’s biology for you! When dating someone with children, you have to be realistic about who their priority is. It won’t be you, it’ll be their child. So you need to put your ego on the back burner.
All kids have a Mom AND a Dad
So you’ve met this amazing man. He’s smart and funny and ambitious and you are just dying, you little smitten kitten. And even better, you love his 5-year-old and the little thing thinks you’re pretty cool, too. Then you meet mom. Oh no, not his mother, but a far scarier entity: the baby mama.
It is rumored that separated parents can, and do, have a very respectful and amicable relationship. Let’s hope that’s the case here so you can breathe a tentative sigh of relief. If no one has ever told you before, be prepared for baggage no matter how well the parents get along. And for the sake of the child, hope and pray that the other parent will always be around for them.
In other words, be secure. That’s really all there is to it. If you’re insecure to begin with, dealing with exes, coming in second in priorities and getting to know his or her kids will do your head in.
If you don’t confront and overcome those insecurities, the relationship won’t last. If you’re lucky, you will find yourself with someone who empathizes with your position, and can hold your hand through the tricky parts.